Ultimate List Of Corporate Jargon I DO NOT Miss From The Office

Anybody who has worked in an office environment will have had some ‘interesting’ conversations with team members, senior managers and colleagues alike. At the same time you’ve probably overheard some conversations while trying to work which have left you hand over face in dismay. The office environment does this to us all. You are not alone in this plight!

One of things I miss most about the office environment is my friends and socialising on a daily basis. It’s a real downside to the home office that typically day to day you don’t socialise in person.  In the same breath however those social creatures I miss from the office also become your worst enemy, especially when it comes down to corporate jargon. If you’ve worked in the corporate business world then you will know it’s a sucker for ‘bullshit’ terminology. The type of statements which make you smile inside in a meeting or make you shudder slightly. It’s a love/hate relationship.

But like everything, these terms become common statements, buzzwords almost which you HAVE to say. In the end you are swallowed up whole by the terminology and you feel yourself saying them too, almost robot like. I have to admit I have been known to spit out these lines from time to time in the ‘moment’ and then wash my mouth out later through utter dismay.

So in true Generation Y rebellious fashion I want to create and ULTIMATE list of the best terms used throughout the corporate world. You know those terms which just roll off the tongue in a meeting and are like putty in a senior manager’s hand. Here are the terms which I DO NOT miss from the office:

Leverage
Resource (used for a person)
Value add
Touch base
Team player
Taking it ‘offline’
Strategy
Totally on board
Think outside the box
Brand loyalty
War room
Who is on the call?
Going forward
Quick wins
User friendly
Core customer base
Ball Park
ROI
Are we all on the same page?
Restructuring
Holistic
Mentor
e + word (why do we put the word e on things to become cutting edge?)
Shoot me an email
Transition to web
Core competencies
Deliverables
Lessons learned
Benchmark
Round table discussion
Churn rate
Face time
Back to back meetings
Working lunch
Synergy
Moving Forward
Deep Dive
Drill Down

New Additions

Blue Sky Thinking
On A Journey
Bandwidth (When referring to person/teams rather than internet)
Aligned / fully aligned
“Reach out” / “Connect” when you mean “send and email”
Quick and dirty
OK chaps .. so, next steps
Engaging with stakeholders
Driving Out Clarity
Work Stream
Brain Dump
Top-down thinking pyramid chart
Revert
No brainer
Putting the toothpaste back in the tube.
It’s a chicken or egg situation
Low-hanging fruit
Methodologies
ASAP
End of play
Close of play
Hustle
Double Down
Paradigm
Knock something up
Pull something together
Land ‘Did the comms land?’
Spurn the churn

I need your help!

What terms do you hear in your office which really rub you up the wrong way? What corporate jargon do you feel deserve an honourable mention on the list?

Please drop me a comment below and ill add them to the list . Thanks!